


Too much of a gouda thing....

by CactusPlantPot



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cheese, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29096586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CactusPlantPot/pseuds/CactusPlantPot
Summary: ... Leads to an uncomfortable problem for Patsy.The pressure is building and she has no where to go.Or, Patsy has a mild lactose intolerance and inhaled a bit too much cheese. Now her new girlfriend has found a very comfortable spot, right on top of her.
Relationships: Delia Busby/Patsy Mount
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	Too much of a gouda thing....

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a fun little one shot I wrote a couple of months ago and feel perhaps it's time to send it out into the world. Hopefully it make at least one person giggle!
> 
> We've all been there I'm sure; had an uncomfortable problem in an awkward situation. It's usually even worse when you're starting a relationship with a new partner and I wanted to explore this with Pupcake. 
> 
> Warning: Natural bodily functions used for humour.  
> All typos are my own.

Patsy needed her girlfriend to move her arm. 

They were stretched out on the sofa, while Patsy's feet dangling over the edge, with Delia settled cosily into her side. It was supposed to be relaxing, the soft breaths against her collar bone while Delias fingers traced up and down her side.

There was no way Patsy could relax though, not after the cheese board and not without an easy escape route. She could feel it there, gurgling away and how could Delias not hear it?!

Delia shifted slightly and Patsy clenched... not now, not now, _not now_.

"Darling..." Delia pressed a soft kiss to her jaw. "You're tense, cariad , what's wrong?" Delia pressed more kisses along her jaw toward her neck.

"Nothing Deels. Nothing I'm fine..." Patsy gritted out through a tight smile. "I just need a wee" she started to shift to get up. 

"You went five minutes ago Pats, now tell me what's bothering you" Delia moved as she spoke, lifting up onto her elbow to look her girlfriend in the eye. Patsy avoided her gaze and, to the her horror, the arm that had been around her waist now pressed a little to hard on her abdomen and-- 

_PPPFTTHHH_

Delia froze, wide eyed. 

Patsy stopped moving, eyes stubbornly fixed to ceiling, feeling her face heat up. _This could not be happening_. 

There was a snort. Patsy twitched, eyes sliding to the woman beside her. Another snort, Delia started shaking with laughter. 

"Oh Pats, is that what's been bothering you?" Delia huffed out. 

"I am so sorry that was.... That was an accident.... I didn't-" Patsy's apology was cut short by a soft rumble, quiet and muffled by the sofa cushions. 

She whipped her head to look round at Delia, who was smirking, eyes sparkling with mirth. "There, that feels better now doesn't it? Got that first time over and done with, no need sneaking off to the bathroom to fart anymore Pats....." 

"What that's not what I.... I don't.... I have a small bladder!" Patsy spluttered. 

Delia laughed loudly then, head thrown back then promptly kissed the tip of Patsy's nose, followed by a peck to Patsy's parted lips. 

"Cariad... I like to think we both want to spend a lot more time together, we both see this going somewhere?" Patsy nodded. "perhaps a lot more intimate time together, hmm?" Patsy nodded again, blushing this time. 

"Then stop being a prude, everyone farts and as a nurse you should know not to hold it in..." Patsy nodded again, she knew Delia was right. 

"Besides, you might think you're subtle sneaking off to the bathrooms every 5 minutes but don't forget...." Delia laughed again, stroking Patsy's cheek affectionately. "bathrooms echo" 

Patsy groaned loudly and buried her face in Delias shoulder. A muffled Delia could be heard before she leaned back again. 

"I may be a slightly lactose intolerant but I didn't want to say anything because, well you made such a delicious carbonara last month, then I really wanted to spend time with you making our own pizza and today, that cheese board honestly looked so divine that I couldn't resist! I usually make it home you see… " 

A look of understanding came over Delias face. 

"So, my plan for tonight to be…. _The_ night has gone out of the window a little then?" 

Patsy winced. "Well, maybe a little, I just get…" she blushed and whispered "Gassy." 

Pressing another soft kiss to Patsy's cheek, Delia raised herself on her hands, placing them either side of Patsy. 

"Then tonight, we go to bed and we sleep. I have no plans tomorrow and if you don't perhaps we could spend the day together, where the only cheesy things will be the chat up lines I send your way while I take you out for the day." 

Untangling herself from the redhead, Delia stood up, extended her hand and continued when Patsy was standing in front of her. 

"Then tomorrow night cariad, knowing you've not had a drop of cheese or dairy, I make good on the plans I had for you tonight." Delia finished the statement with a wink and a smirk that warmed Patsy from head to toe. 

"I'd like that very much." she replied, leaning down to kiss her girlfriend soundly on the lips before being taken by the hand and led up the stairs to bed. 


End file.
